Fantasy Hockey: What If You Could Draft Superheroes?

Apr 21, 2013; Tampa, FL, USA; Tampa Bay Lightning center Steven Stamkos (91) during the game against the Carolina Hurricanes during the first period at the Tampa Bay Times Forum. Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

According to Dictionary.com a fantasy sport is “any sports competition with imaginary teams which the participants own, manage and coach.” Let’s exclude the rest of the definition that explains that the games are based on stats generated by actual players of a professional sport, for now.

Forget about Steven Stamkos or Sidney Crosby. Is the Flash draft eligible?

It sounds silly yes, but if we’re going to play fantasy sports, why not go all out? Now the only reason my first pick would be the “Scarlet Speedster” is simply because I believe in building a fantasy team just like any real successful NHL squad, from the net out.  With superhuman reflexes and the ability to move extremely quick (Wikipedia), even Metal Gear’s Solid Snake and his sniping abilities would have trouble scoring on the Flash. If he’s off the board, E-Honda from Street Fighter might be a serviceable option in the later rounds.

I know what you are thinking, what about the Hulk? Though The Incredible Hulk would be a first overall deadlock at running back, in hockey his stubbornness and “meathead” mentality might not work on the ice. Not to mention there probably wouldn’t be any playable ice for the Hanson brothers checking line after a shift or two from the big guy.

Jun 19, 2013; Boston, MA, USA; Chicago Blackhawks center Jonathan Toews (19) is separated from Boston Bruins defenseman Zdeno Chara (33) during the second period in game four of the 2013 Stanley Cup Final at TD Garden. Michael Ivins-USA TODAY Sports

Even though Zdeno Chara is a few years past his prime, his seven foot frame alone makes him the next best thing to a superhero and one of the first defenseman off the board in any draft, unless of course Optimus Prime is in the D-man pool. Any fantasy team’s stud blue-liner, Prime’s ability to go from beast to big rig would stall any rush, no matter who the foe.  According to Answers.com, Prime stands almost 30 feet tall. Face wash that Chara. (I’m citing a wikianswer merely because talk of drafting fictional heroes may just be the only time such a source is acceptable.)

Realistically, any superhero or heroine could find themselves on a fantasy squad and be of some use.  Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth could be a lot of fun.

You think Fantasy Football is lucrative? Imagine all the money to be made should fantasy sports all of a sudden become more enticing to all those comic book geeks with nothing better to do with their money than compose a team mostly of the Justice League or Thunder Cats. The only reason I’m not including myself in the geek squad is because I already waste man-hours and money on fantasy sports. You don’t need a fourth line of The Thing, Spidey and Thor to get me to sign up.

Just think about the potential. Drafting Chuck Norris at every position? My buddy Morgan is right, that’s unbeatable.

Who would make your ideal fantasy squad?  Tweet me, @ArbuckleTV and our website @TMMotS. And in case you’re working on your pre-draft rankings and want to know who the strongest superheroes of all time are,  List25.com has them all.